April 29, 2019

Know Your Role

So, you get a call from your sister/girlfriend/cousin asking you to either be a their Matron/Maid of Honor, or a Bridesmaid at their wedding. The bride to be usually has thought long and hard about the people she wants standing at the alter with her as she pledges her love and commitment to her new husband.  She is depending on you to help make this process and smooth as possible. Although you take it as an honor to be picked, before you say yes you really need to get an understanding of what exactly they are asking you to be responsible for.  Below are a few items for each role that I believe get missed as and important duty that should be considered. If you are willing to do these things, then you are sure to be the best attendant the Bride will ever have.

Matron/Maid of Honor

  • Usually gives or arranges for a shower, luncheon or party for the bride or for the bride and groom.
  • Usually consults with the bridesmaids about a joint gift for the bride, collects the money, purchases the gift and presents it to the bride at the chosen occasion. This gift often has the wedding date and sometimes the initials or names of the givers on it. This gift is separate from the individual wedding present to be given to the couple by each member of the bridal party.
  • Follows bride’s wishes on where and when to dress for the ceremony and show up prepared and on time. Remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards.
  • Helps bride change into her going away clothes and makes certain the wedding gown is taken care of.

Note: If the bride chooses both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor, the Maid of Honor usually takes precedence. The bride decides which attendant will assume the duties or how she would like them to be shared.


  • Helps bride run errands the week of the wedding.
  • Is on time for fittings, pre-wedding photographs, parties, showers, etc.
  • Attends the rehearsal for instructions on the processional, ceremony and recessional.
  • Helps to calm the Bride's nerves
  • Follows the bride’s wishes on when and where to dress for the ceremony and remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards.
Even if these things sound like a lot, they are very important. Evaluate if you are willing and able to take on these responsibilities. There will always be a variation of some sort to these but these are what is usually expected whether it is said or not. If you are, be the best and if not, make sure you make that known as soon as possible out of love and respect for the bride.
Always remember that this is a happy and joyous occasion, and you will always be a part of the memories of your loved ones wedding day.  It is up to you to decide what kind of memory you will be.

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